This is my narrative and relevant references from the Books where Hospitality is mentioned.
I was asked if there is a Rite of Hospitality.
Not knowing the context, or reason behind the question, I decided to pull out every time the word hospitality appears in the series and post them below.
Hospitality can take the form of impaling a stranger who approaches too near to a city, to offering a visitor a bath or a slave for the night.
However, I find no reference to a Rite of Hospitality as in some form of ceremony or ritual.
As usual throughout ~The Gorean Cave~ the following quotes are only snippets. Get your own book and read the surrounding context.
I make no pronouncements on these matters, but report them as I find them.
Arrive at your own conclusions.
I wish you well,
"Tup Ladletender," said he, "by the rite of the claws of sleen, is my brother. I lift my cup to him. Let us drink!" The villagers drank. Tup Ladletender rose to his feet. "You have shared with me tonight your paga and your kettle," said he. "I drink to the hospitality of Tabuk's Ford."
Impaling the stranger is a not unusual form of hospitality on Gor.
The Gorean is suspicious of the stranger, particularly in the vicinity of his native walls. Indeed, in Gorean the same word is used for both stranger and enemy.
Their faces were concealed in the folds of their garments, which had been drawn over their heads in the manner of a hood. Spies, I thought. It was an intelligent precaution for Tharna to take, to keep an eye on the stranger, lest her hospitality be abused.
In Tharna, however, famed for its hospitality, I was confident that inns would be common.
My weapons had been removed while I slept, foolish and trusting in the hospitality of Tharna.
"I see," I said, now understanding for the first time something of the motivation behind the hospitality of Tharna.
"It is near the Feast of Tola," said Sarm, "and it is a time of pleasure and hospitality in the Nest of Priest-Kings, a time in which Priest-Kings are well disposed to all living things, whatever be their order."
The women I had owned, Sana, Talena, Lara, and others of whom I have not written, Passion Slaves rented for the hour in the Paga Taverns of Ko-ro-ba and Ar, Pleasure Slaves bestowed on me in token of hospitality for a night spent in a friend's compartments, had known that I was master and that had been sufficient.
These men of Tharna, mostly small tradesmen in silver, had come for the autumn fair, the Fair of Se'Var, which was just being set up at the time of the gravitational lessening. I remained with them, accepting their hospitality, while going out to meet various delegations from different cities, as they came to the Sardar for the fair.
Yet I was hesitant to make the strike of a thief at the wagon of Kutaituchik for the Tuchuks, in their bluff way, had made me welcome, and I had come to care for some of them, particularly the gruff, chuckling, wily Kamchak, whose wagon I shared. It did not seem to me a worthy thing to betray the hospitality of Tuchuks by attempting to purloin an object which obviously they held to be of great value.
"Ha-Keel," said Saphrar, "wisely went to the city of Port Kar, whose hospitality to such as he is well known. It was there we first met."
It is a nerve-wracking business, the negotiation of an enemy city, knowing that discovery might bring torture or sudden death, at best perhaps an impalement by sundown on the city's walls, a warning to any other who might be similarly tempted to transgress the hospitality of a Gorean city.
"It would ill repay the hospitality of a captain," said I, "for his passenger to refuse churlishly to return to him his vessel."
"Samos," said I, "may I request the hospitality of your house for this man?"
"You are welcome to leave when you wish," said Marlenus, "but enjoy my hospitality another day." He clapped me on the shoulder. "Do we not have a game on the board?"
He hunted and amused himself while I and my men, his guests, partook of his hospitality at his camp, dining on his largesse.
"When your father sees you tomorrow night," said he, "you must not be weak, but rosy-cheeked and bright-eyed. What otherwise would he think of the hospitality I extend to my prisoners?"
Long had I enjoyed his hospitality, and he had given me many things. I did not wish, incidentally, even if I could, to give him a gift commensurate with what he had, in his hospitality, bestowed upon me; the host, in Torvaldsland, should make the greatest gifts; it is, after all, his house or hall; if his guest should make him a greater gifts than he makes the guest this is regarded as something in the nature of an insult, a betrayal of hospitality; after all, the host is not running an inn, extending hospitality like a merchant, for profit; and the host must not appear more stingy than the guest who, theoretically, is the one being welcomed and sheltered; in Torvaldsland, thus, the greater the generosity is the host's prerogative; should the Forkbeard, however, have come to Port Kar then, of course, it would have been my prerogative to make him the greater gifts than he did me. This is, it seems to me, an intelligent custom; the host, giving first, and knowing what he can afford to give, sets the limit to the giving; the guest then makes certain that his gifts are less than those of the host; the host, in giving more, wins honor as a host; the guest, in giving less, does the host honor. Accordingly, I was concerned to find a gift for the Forkbeard; it must not be too valuable, but yet, of course, I wanted it to be something that he would appreciate.
"I have here," called Svein Blue Tooth, "a bucket of Sa-Tarna grain. This, in token of hospitality, I offer to our guest."
"The noble Samos has been most kind," said Ibn Saran. "His hospitality has been most generous."
"You have shown me hospitality," I said, "and I would be honored if Suleiman Pasha would accept these unworthy stones for sixty weights."
In leaving an oasis, of course, similarly, as a courtesy to the inn, and. its hospitality, the bags are commonly filled not at the cistern, but at the public well.
It was quite pleasant. The temperature of the water, perhaps, was a bit warm. Also, it was perfumed. Yet I did not mind. It had been weeks since I had had a bath. I was appreciative of this hospitality in the male seraglio of the kasbah of Tarna, bandit chieftain of the Tahari.
"I hope that you will forgive me," said Hassan. "Further, in the light of the fact that you have recovered that in which you were interested, whatever it is, I trust that you will be willing to let bygones be bygones, and permit myself and my friend to depart, returning to us our kaiila, garments and accouterments, and perhaps bestowing upon us some water and supplies. We will then be on our way, commending your generosity and hospitality at the campfires, and will bother you no longer."
"Of course not," said Hassan. "That would be not only irrational, but discourteous." He indicated me with his head. "I have been traveling with this fellow," he said, "a clumsy, but well-meaning oaf, a boorish date merchant, Hakim of Tor, not overly bright, but good-hearted. We fell together by accident. Should you free him, your generosity and hospitality would be commended at the campfires.
T'Zshal smiled. "Know this, though," he said, "that should you leave us our feelings would be injured, that our hospitality be rejected. Few return to Klima. Of those that do, few survive the pits of discipline, and of those who do, it is to dig in the open pits."
In this house, this hut, this palace, Thurnus's was the supremacy. Here he might do as he pleased. His rights in this house, his supremacy in this place, was acknowledged by all guests. They shared the hospitality of his Home Stone.
Had Thurnus requested me my master, in such a situation, would have granted me to him immediately. Not to have done so would have been inexcusably rude, a betrayal, a boorish breech of hospitality and good manners.
Tup Ladletender rose to his feet. "You have shared with me tonight your paga and your kettle," said he. "I drink to the hospitality of Tabuk's Ford."
"'Yes, Master,' I said, 'you are Bertram of Lydius, guest in the house of my Master.' 'Your master has been kind to me,' said he. 'I would make him a gift to show my appreciation. It would be unfitting for me to accept his hospitality without in some small way expressing the esteem in which I hold him and my gratitude for his generosity.' 'How may I aid you, Master?' I asked. 'In Lydius,' said he, 'we encounter often the furs of snow sleen, fresh and handsome and warm. Too, we have there cunning tailors who can design garments with golden threads and secret pockets. I would make a gift of such a garment, a short coat or jacket, suitable for use in the tarn saddle, for your master.'"
Violence, of course, is not unknown among the Innuit. They are men. Aside, however, from considerations such as the fewness, comparatively, of their numbers, and their geographical separation, and the pointlessness of an economics of war in their environment, the Innuit seem, also, culturally, or perhaps even genetically, disposed in ways which do not incline one to organized, systematic group violence. For example, they seem generally to be a kindly, genial folk. Hostility seems foreign to them. Strangers are welcomed. Hospitality is generous, honest, open-hearted and sincere.
"And she had the nerve to ask for your use," said the Lady Florence. "I will share you only with those women who please me."
"Certainly!" he laughed. "Your journey has been long. I shall, of course, send a girl to wash your body, and content you."
"Policrates is generous," I said.
"It is nothing," he said.
This form of hospitality, of course, is common on Gor. It is common to provide a guest with a girl for the night, to see to his comfort. My compliment, nonetheless, was appropriate, as was his reply. Ritualistic amenities, and pleasantries, on such occasions are invariably observed.
Perhaps he has even purchased her some training, from local slave masters. His guests, uncontrolled in their desire, driven half mad with passion, will mightily envy him his girl. Perhaps he, in Gorean hospitality, will share her with them, but, in the end, when they have gone, it is at the foot of his own couch that she, licking and kissing, and begging, will be chained.
She was to continue, for the time, as a nameless slave. The object of this was to lower her standing in the camp, and to assist in her training. Granting her in hospitality to various of his guests had a similar object.
"I have had the oil heated," said Belnar. "Doubtless it is now, or soon will be, boiling. In this fashion the end will come swiftly. We have not forgotten, in the hospitality of Brundisium, that Temenides is our guest."
"It is a gift, like your hospitality." I said, "between free persons. Did you not accept it I should be shamed."
Peasants, unlike women of the cities, tend to be very practical about such matters. She had shown me hospitality.
"Thank you," I said. "I am grateful for your welcome. I thank you, too, for the food and drink I have received here, for the heat and light of your fire, and for your fellowship. I thank you for your hospitality. It is worthy of the best things I have heard of Alars. I would now like, if I may, in my own way, and of my own free will, as it will now be clearly understood, to do something for you, something that will help, in a small way, to express my appreciation."
"You may sup with me," said Mincon.
"Thank you," I said. "But imposing on your hospitality could be at best a temporary expedient."
"The hospitality of Pietro Vacchi is well known," said Aulus. I hoped, wildly, that Mirus would not be in the camp of Pietro Vacchi. I hoped he would have already set out for Brundisium. Surely he would not be expecting me to be brought to the camp.
He had showed them hospitality. They had, so to speak, "shared his kettle."
"But you released Sempronius and Callisthenes," I said. "You even showed them hospitality. You even put Tela and myself to their pleasure."
"Thank you," I said. I took a piece of tarsk from the platter. If the fellow was so good as to treat us, it would surely have been boorish to refuse his hospitality.
Although Marcus was harsh with his slave, pretending even to a casual and brutal disdain for her, he was also, it might be mentioned, extremely possessive where she was concerned. Indeed, he was almost insanely jealous of her. She was not the sort of girl, for example, whom he, as a host, even at the cost of a certain rudeness and inhospitality, would be likely to hand over for the nightly comfort of a guest. It would be at his slave ring alone that she would be likely to find herself chained.
"It will be amusing," he said, "to point you out to our guests, and delineate your history, as, too, you are serving at our meals. Indeed, afterwards, perhaps we will have you accompany our guests to their rooms, seeing to their needs and wants, attending upon them, bringing them fresh linen, bathing them, preparing their couch and, later, naturally, taking your place at its slave ring, a token of the hospitality of the house of William."
They drank only water. They ate sparingly. The hospitality of the pit master, offering us to them, was declined.
"I must thank you for your hospitality," she said to Mirus, warmly. "It was a lovely supper. It is a beautiful room. I am so pleased to make your acquaintance." She turned to Tutina. "You have been terribly quiet all evening, my dear," she said. "I feel so terribly guilty. But the men and I had so much to talk about. You understand. But still you should not have allowed us to monopolize the conversation."
"I will find some coins for you, in the tent," said the slave marshal. "In the meantime, accept the gratitude of Cos, and enjoy the hospitality of Cos."
"If you need food we will share some bread, your due in the hospitality of the wilderness, but you must then be on your way."
"You will share my hospitality, of course," he said, "for the 25th of Se'Kara?"
I finished the paga and set down the goblet.
"I thank you for your hospitality," I said to Pertinax.
"It is nothing," he said. "I hope you will stay the night."
"We were brought here, Pertinax and I, by a disk craft, and told to wait for you," she wept. "We were to encounter you, and show you hospitality, and then conduct you into the forest, to a rendezvous. Pertinax knows the place. He has been there. The trail is marked."
I am grateful, great lord," said I, "for your hospitality. But I understand little of what is going on here. I have been brought to you at what must be considerable time and expense. Agents, or operatives, have colluded in my presence here. I would like to know what I am to do, how it is that I might serve you."
Accordingly, when she arrived in Ar, she was not returned to glory, to position and power, but removed from public sight, being sequestered, for most practical purposes, imprisoned, in the Central Cylinder. Thus, let the shame brought upon the name and honor of Marlenus of Ar be hidden away, if not forgotten. Later, Marlenus, on a hunting trip to the Voltai Mountains, was injured in a fall from tarnback, which injury impaired his memory. No longer did he know himself to be Marlenus, Ubar of Ar. He, ignorant of his true identity, was captured by Trevans, or perhaps delivered to them by traitors. Still not knowing his true identity he later escaped from Treve and made his way back to Ar, believing himself to be of the Peasants, and he lived for a time in a village in the vicinity of Ar, as one Peasant amongst others, accepting their hospitality, working in their fields.
"You have meat and paga, I trust, and we have coin, though doubtless your hospitality may be depended upon, and wagons approach, as well, doubtless well supplied."
"We are grateful," said Tyrtaios. "The mighty lords are generous. The hospitality of their race is legendary. Well do I recall, aforetimes, the sumptuousness of their provender. But, alas, we have now no time to feed. We must soon return to Shipcamp lest our absence be noted."
"Tal, noble Genserich," said Axel.
"I trust you enjoy the hospitality of the camp," said Genserich.
"We have just been drinking with two of your fellows," said Axel.
"Your hospitality, such as it was," said Axel to Genserich, "has been acknowledged. You have been repaid with your lives. I trust that is sufficient. We have business, and cannot dally. We must away, immediately. Fetch your weapons, and supplies, and do not attempt to follow us. That would mean your death."
"Doubtless there will be joy in the encampment," he said, "when it is learned you live and thrive and are enjoying our hospitality."
"Perhaps," he said, "you would like to seize such a mount, and slip away, discourteously declining the hospitality of the shogun."
"It seems likely," I said, "your noble ally, the barbarian, Tyrtaios, reached the castle of Lord Temmu astride a tarn, secretly, by night, and likely, as well, that my tarn, for such beasts are of great worth, if it were practical, would have been acquired. Certainly it would not be released, nor would it have been left at the castle. Indeed, I conjecture that it was used in bringing me into your hospitality. If both tarns were used, neither would be overburdened, such a weighting taxing the beast and diminishing its speed, the rider's work thusly being brought more expeditiously to its conclusion."
"Incidentally," he said, "I must prevail upon you not to inform her of my intentions. That would constitute an abuse of my friendship trust, and hospitality."
"Of course," he said. "And in the meantime, we will trust that Tarl Cabot, tarnsman, will consent to continue to enjoy our hospitality."
"Please remain, dear friend," said the shogun. "I am sure you will enjoy the spectacle, or, at least, find it amusing, or of some interest." He then turned to Lord Akio. "I am sensitive to your concern, beloved Akio," he said. "But one in power must weigh diverse quantities; it is with delicacy that scales are to be balanced; one must proportion right with prudence, truth with utility, appropriate desserts with judicious policy. First, I wished to please Tarl Cabot, tarnsman, as it seemed incumbent on the hospitality of my house to do so, but, too, second, the public execution of a miscreant is likely to have its independent value, as it should be a warning to, and be instructive to, any who might secretly harbor regrettable thoughts."
"I fear so," he said. "And, in the meantime, I trust you will continue to enjoy my hospitality."
Once we were out of sight, I would introduce myself to Haruki. He would know where it was, it was somewhere here about, here, outside the palace grounds, the concealed entry to the secret tunnel which led to the garden. With some fortune we might conceal ourselves in the tunnel until dark, after which it would be every man for himself. Surely I thought that I had long enough prevailed on the hospitality of the shogun, and might now with good grace, take my leave.
"He might prefer to have me returned to the hospitality of his holding," I said.
"If you are to stay in the village," said the peasant "if you are to enjoy our hospitality, you will earn your rice. There are stones to be carried, wood to be cut, and water to be drawn."
"I thank you, noble Albus," said Kurik. "I have muchly enjoyed the gracious and generous hospitality of your house. You are a most estimable host. Too, you have given me the opportunity to see my friend once more, noble Tyrtaios, of the Merchants, as I understand it, whom I had not seen since Brundisium. For that, who would not be grateful? Too, what free man would not rejoice to meet so charming a woman as the lovely Lady Alexina? Compared to these delights, even those of the ka-la-na of Naxos must be overlooked."
"A master," he said, "might even, as a matter of hospitality, put you to the feet of a guest, have you report to a friend, and so on."
I made it a point, as was proper, not to meet the eyes of the guest, and I made certain I poured his wine no differently than I had the wine of the others. This manner of serving is common. The girl does not know, of course, whether or not she will be made available to the guest. That is at the discretion of the master. If a guest is to stay overnight in a large house, he is almost certain to be offered a slave for the night, of which convenience he is expected to avail himself. At an inn, of course, there is a charge for the slave, as for the food, as for the bed, or mat. In a small house an overnight guest may, as a gesture of courtesy or hospitality, be offered the use of a slave, but he will commonly, while expressing his appreciation of his host's generosity, politely decline to accept the offer. This is less because he might have his own slave, or slaves, in attendance, and more because he is well aware that the master's offer is likely to be little more than an exercise in etiquette, a mere concession to social proprieties. Many Gorean masters, of a single slave, or a small number of slaves, prefer to reserve the pleasures of their properties to themselves. It is my impression that many Gorean masters, despite professions to the contrary, tend to be covetous, possessive, and jealous where their slaves are concerned. They want them all to themselves, even to the sword and knife. Perhaps this is selfish, perhaps it is something else altogether. Few free women comprehend how much a slave may be desired, how much she may be wanted. Strange how a fine, strong man can be so fond of a mere collared animal. How they want to keep their collars on them! How they want to own them! What joy is theirs, having their slave at their feet! But even were Drusus Andronicus staying the night, I suspected my master might not offer me to him, even were this to constitute an obvious infringement of the canons of hospitality. To be sure, if I were offered to a guest, and the guest accepted the offer, or if I were ordered to serve a guest, I would have to obey. I must do so. I was marked and collared. I was a slave. When not serving, I knelt back, unobtrusively. I even knelt farther away than custom would prescribe. Drusus Andronicus, doubtless in view of the innocuous nature, the prosaic sociality, of this meeting, had brought a slave with him, who knelt unobtrusively, to be sure, but a bit closer to him than I would have supposed customary, Paula. She smiled at me, from time to time. I loved her. How pleased I was that she knew nothing of my attempt to seduce Drusus Andronicus. Yet I was troubled, as well, for I knew of it, and I felt guilty and terribly ashamed. But at least she had no idea of what I had done. The collar on her neck, of course, was that of Decius Albus. I suspected she would have preferred the collar of another.
"Besides," said Kurik, "we have sipped wine together, here, at this table, this afternoon."
It was true that the free humans had done so. Lord Grendel and Eve, as noted earlier, had refrained. As suggested, their abstinence, under the circumstances, was not intended to be, nor was it regarded as, a slight.
"That is true," said Drusus Andronicus. "It would be an egregious breach of hospitality."
"What must we do now," asked Seremides, "arrange for transportation to the Farther Islands?"
"No," I said, "for Brundisium."
"Why Brundisium?" asked Seremides.
"For two reasons," I said, "first, given the size of Brundisium, its business and commerce, its richness, its resources, and the hospitality it has always shown to Cos and Tyros, it seems the most likely port to satisfy the needs of Cos. Second, if landfall is made elsewhere, given the size and nature of the landing, it is almost certain that word of it will find its way to the taverns and streets of Brundisium."